So today I woke up and the devil told me it was going to be a shitty day. And honestly, for the first couple hours of the day I believed him. As I got dressed I also put on the huge backpack of fear of the future. I put on the heavy bags of guilt and shame and countless other burdens and I went about my day. 

As I drove to work, I put on some worship music and prayed some weak prayers begging God to help me. Prayers out of a place of forgotten identity. I forgot who I was and whose I was. I begged God for what he already had for me and wanted to give me...again. 

The exchange that followed over the next 6 hours or so I was completely oblivious to. Slowly as I checked in patients and got them ready to go back and see the doctor (I'm currently playing receptionist on the weekends for an optometrist) I had my weights removed. Worship music still playing to set the atmosphere, it became lighter. Jesus came and slowly took off each burden I dressed myself with earlier that morning. He wasn't angry, disappointed, or ashamed of me for dressing myself with darkness yet again. Especially after we have been in relationship for so long, you think he would have had some negative emotion towards me. But not an ounce of shame or condemnation came to me from him. 

As the day went on, I didn't realize the weight falling off me. Or the power, life, and glory returning. Not until I told my buddy I wouldn't be able to make it to his wedding this evening (which broke my heart) and sent him a prayer and blessing through text. It was then I started to realize what God was up to. About an hour later a friend had posted on facebook they were having a rough day and could use some encouragement. So I sent her a message. And as I felt and saw Gods words of life flowing out of me and not mine i truly realized the exchange that happened. 

The thing that's got me all messed up is that God was faithful to come to me and start exchanging my junk for his glory even when I had no clue he was doing it! Even though I should be at a place in my life where I "should know better" he didn't hold that against me or make me jump through some hoops to get free ...again. The truth is I already was set free, he just had to walk me back to the place of identity. He graciously reminded me who I was. 

That's truly Gods heart for each of us. He has GOOD intentions toward us all and his love and grace is always gentle and restoring in nature. Even when we should know better. So if you're in the midst of transition and you don't feel like anything is changing, be encouraged. Because you just might be having your junk removed piece by piece and not be able to tell it yet.