The best part about today started when I had been sitting at the airport for 30 minutes waiting for my phone to ping me and tell me I had a ride. (I started driving for Lyft on the side a few weeks ago.) I decided to apply a little of my faith and ask God to help send me rides so I could make some cash. His response. "Did I ask you to do this today?"
Ouch. So, I kinda tried to make excuses and then started over thinking that I never should've signed up for Lyft in the first place (dramatic I know), when he asked me to turn off the app and go spend some time with him by the dam. I sighed and punched it into my GPS and headed that way. Kinda feeling down like I missed it and I wasted time all day getting to the point where he could tell me I was missing it. Not the greatest feeling in the world.
As I'm driving he starts to tell me how he just wants me to be out in the sun and fresh air and enjoy it with him. Somehow I believed he had some hard conversation or daunting task I would have to accomplish. Nope. Somehow I forgot how crazy in love with me he is and how for me he is. He wanted me to enjoy today for ME. Wierd concept in trying to still wrap my brain around after years of pursuing him and more of just letting him pursue me.
I'm almost to the marina where I thought I was headed, a place he's sent me many times before, when I saw the rocks going out along side of the dam and it just looked wonderfully inviting. I parked and headed down there. Took off my shirt to enjoy the fullness of the vitamin D that I could absorb (also realizing that I need to work on toning my body and taking care of the temple he's given me and I've kinda started to let go. Anyways, back to the story.) and headed down to the rocks. I found this nice big flat one right by the waters edge in the sun.
It was nice but a little awkward as well. Everyone else there was down the pier a ways and fishing. And here's me tanning or whatever I was doing. I felt weird before the fisherman started taking pics of the "hippie kid meditating on the rock". Haha. Oh well. I started to get antsy and was like, "God, why am I here?" He just told me to lay down and enjoy it. So I did. It was awesome. My off day turned into a restful restorative day thanks to him.
At this point you're probably thinking, "Tony, I just read this story and now what? You ran that right off a cliff. Where are you going with this?" Haha. Funny you ask. I'm getting there. The point is, sometimes there doesn't have to be a big point, or some mind blowing experience or encounter. Sometimes it's just ok to be with him. It can be one of the most restoring things to your mind, body, and spirit.
I just finished off the night after coming home and having some hard conversations that needed to be had and worshipping him, to type this up and let whoever reads know that Jesus is worth it. Following him, giving him your whole life is exhilarating and scary and awesome and at times painful and exhausting. But at the end of the day. Every day. It's worth it.
As always, be encouraged friends.
Till next time...
Monday, March 14, 2016
Thursday, March 3, 2016
Impossible Promises Faithfully Kept
This story starts around 4 years ago. I had just quit my band of 4+ years playing bass to start my own project doing vocals. I finally got the lineup of guys and a friend of ours demanded we play their EP release show. The only catch... Their show was a month out and my guys hadn't played a note together and the 4 of us were spread out across the state. But, in my ambition (or surrender) I agreed. We all did.
The next 3 weeks we spent all of our weekends writing and practicing for the show. We ended up with 3 tracks to play. Not bad if you asked us. We were having fun and we didn't sound half bad either. The day of the show comes. We practice and set up and then find ourselves in the back room with the band members of my friends band who demanded we play the show with them. We circled up and prayed. This wasn't your typical "let's pray cuz we're a Christian band and we have to prayer." No, this was a room full of men who were hungry and desperate for the presence and power of God to come. We cried out. We gave the night over to the glory of God and the advancement of his kingdom. I left that room and it didn't matter. Nothing did. I was full. I was complete. I didn't even pic up a mic yet and it didn't matter. I didn't care if I did well or we bombed the show. Cuz I encountered haven with my friends in the back room before we even took the stage.
Our slot rolls around later in the evening and we play. Someone happened to record the evening and I'll post the links at the end of this entry for anyone who's curious what happened. We got off the stage feeling pretty good. We all thought the show went well until we saw the video. In our eyes we looked like a band that had been touring awhile and kinda knew what they were doing. It wasn't us. The heaven we encountered in the back room came with us into that stage and encountered that whole room. To this day that night is one of my favorite memories and I'm so thankful someone felt the need to capture it so I could pop back and relive that special night once in awhile.
The night ends and we have to head back home. We have 3 1/2 hrs or more to drive home. We get about 30 minutes out of town and the alternator in my truck dies. Great. Tow and back to the friends house for the night. We hang out for a couple days and need to head back home. We felt the need to just pray and go. Our good friend drops us off and we throw a jump on the truck from his van pray and start driving. Something told me to record what was happening so I did. That video is here.
From there we went a good part of the way home and pulled off into a gas station to go to the bathroom. The truck died. I was devastated. After seeing such a demonstration of Gods power, how could he leave us hanging? I called a friend to come pick us up who unknowingly to me had prayed that morning, "God give me someone to sacrifice for today." And so in order to answer his prayer God worked it out to write another page of a crazy story. As I'm sitting there waiting, I call my dad. I tell him I'm basically gonna scrap the perfectly working truck (other than the alternator) cuz I feel like Gods telling me I'm done with it. My dad, thinks I'm crazy and gets pretty upset that I'm being foolish at "the voice of God". Until I realize it. I'm supposed to give my truck to my dad.
A few months prior, my dad was in a nasty accident where he rolled his truck I believe 9 times going down the highway. He had always wanted a truck to pull a boat and just to have. He had the truck for less than a year when this happened. And when all of it was said and done it was more cost effective to purchase a car for my mom to drive out of state and replace her car than for him to replace the truck.
I saw in that moment God wanted to honor my dads sacrifice of giving up his dream vehicle for the betterment of my mom and give him a truck again. My dad thought I was crazy and refused. So a few weeks later I replaced the alternator and drive the truck to my dad and dropped it off. Leaving me without a vehicle. It was the middle of winter in Wisconsin and I was walking to work over an hour in the snow one way. I was nuts. But I held to my convictions. A few months later my parents gave me the extra car they no longer needed. I almost immediately sold it and drove to Wyoming to buy a van from some friends at a great deal as a band vehicle.
Very shortly after that I had an encounter with Jesus that changed my life. Prior to this point I had lived my life for God but on that day I gave my everything TO him. I quit my band. A few months later I quit my jobs. I gave the van away. I gave a lot of stuff away. I didn't need it. Thousands of dollars worth of music equipment, my whole life up to that point, given away to people who could use it or at least be blessed by it.
During this time I strongly felt God tell me that the next vehicle I would have would be a brand new car. I held to that promise tightly until the batteredness of the journey made me forget the promise alltogether. I ended up through a crazy journey here in Tennessee. I've had no easy times since I've been here. From loving homeless in a park for 2 weeks to having to get up at 4 in the morning to walk an hour to the bus to ride the bus for 2 hours just to get to work.
All that time I never quit. I was close. I said I quit but inside of me I never ever quit. Eventually a friend let me drive a car for a few months. I thought I had something lined up knowing the timeframe was ending and last minute that fell through. That was this weekend. When I got a text that said you have 9 days to figure something out with a vehicle.
I had no idea what I was going to do. So I woke up early to head to the bank and see what I could do for a loan. Nothing. My credit was 10 points shy of getting a loan. Off to the dealers it was to get a higher interest loan then I guess. I drive from one mom n pop place to another. I'm about ready to give up when I just drive through the parking lot of the Nissan dealer by my house. The kind lady stops me and asks to help me. So I park and decide to humor her knowing everything there I cannot afford. We drive a couple used vehicles that were super nice. They try to get me into one and my credit is too whack. Then they try to get me into a new vehicle as they are easier to get approved for and have more rebates and since it's the last day of the month, they are desperate for sales to make quota.
They make me an offer and it's double what I wanted pay a month. I kindly thank them for their time and head home. I had gotten my hopes up and was pretty sure I heard God tell me as I was test driving the last car "this is what I have for you". I really started to doubt that when I was driving home. I got home and did what I knew to do. Started looking at bus routes. Somewhere between me getting depressed that there's no bus routes that work to get to my new job and not knowing what to do, my phone rings. It's the Nissan dealer promising me a price I can afford and to come back in. No way!!! I go back in and come back a few hours later after paperwork with a brand new 2016 Nissan Versa. It's amazing and I've never owned a brand new vehicle before.
It wasn't until two days later when I was pulling groceries out of my trunk that God reminded me of his promise of the next vehicle I owned being a brand new car. Years later. After I had long forgotten and given up hope on what he told me, he remembered. He was faithful to do what he said.
I share this long story tonight to hopefully give someone a breath of hope. It's not about me or my story. Don't marvel at that. Marvel at the goodness and faithfulness of a God who never forgets if we never quit and stay the course to receive what he has coming. He is faithful. Following him is the hardest thing you'll ever do. But it's worth it. Hope this is encouraging to you. If there's promises he's made, he will keep them. In his way and in his time. He is faithful. Hang in there friend. You're not alone. Hope is coming. Hope is here.
For those who wanted to see the videos to the show here they are:
Clip 1
Clip 2
Clip 3
The next 3 weeks we spent all of our weekends writing and practicing for the show. We ended up with 3 tracks to play. Not bad if you asked us. We were having fun and we didn't sound half bad either. The day of the show comes. We practice and set up and then find ourselves in the back room with the band members of my friends band who demanded we play the show with them. We circled up and prayed. This wasn't your typical "let's pray cuz we're a Christian band and we have to prayer." No, this was a room full of men who were hungry and desperate for the presence and power of God to come. We cried out. We gave the night over to the glory of God and the advancement of his kingdom. I left that room and it didn't matter. Nothing did. I was full. I was complete. I didn't even pic up a mic yet and it didn't matter. I didn't care if I did well or we bombed the show. Cuz I encountered haven with my friends in the back room before we even took the stage.
Our slot rolls around later in the evening and we play. Someone happened to record the evening and I'll post the links at the end of this entry for anyone who's curious what happened. We got off the stage feeling pretty good. We all thought the show went well until we saw the video. In our eyes we looked like a band that had been touring awhile and kinda knew what they were doing. It wasn't us. The heaven we encountered in the back room came with us into that stage and encountered that whole room. To this day that night is one of my favorite memories and I'm so thankful someone felt the need to capture it so I could pop back and relive that special night once in awhile.
The night ends and we have to head back home. We have 3 1/2 hrs or more to drive home. We get about 30 minutes out of town and the alternator in my truck dies. Great. Tow and back to the friends house for the night. We hang out for a couple days and need to head back home. We felt the need to just pray and go. Our good friend drops us off and we throw a jump on the truck from his van pray and start driving. Something told me to record what was happening so I did. That video is here.
From there we went a good part of the way home and pulled off into a gas station to go to the bathroom. The truck died. I was devastated. After seeing such a demonstration of Gods power, how could he leave us hanging? I called a friend to come pick us up who unknowingly to me had prayed that morning, "God give me someone to sacrifice for today." And so in order to answer his prayer God worked it out to write another page of a crazy story. As I'm sitting there waiting, I call my dad. I tell him I'm basically gonna scrap the perfectly working truck (other than the alternator) cuz I feel like Gods telling me I'm done with it. My dad, thinks I'm crazy and gets pretty upset that I'm being foolish at "the voice of God". Until I realize it. I'm supposed to give my truck to my dad.
A few months prior, my dad was in a nasty accident where he rolled his truck I believe 9 times going down the highway. He had always wanted a truck to pull a boat and just to have. He had the truck for less than a year when this happened. And when all of it was said and done it was more cost effective to purchase a car for my mom to drive out of state and replace her car than for him to replace the truck.
I saw in that moment God wanted to honor my dads sacrifice of giving up his dream vehicle for the betterment of my mom and give him a truck again. My dad thought I was crazy and refused. So a few weeks later I replaced the alternator and drive the truck to my dad and dropped it off. Leaving me without a vehicle. It was the middle of winter in Wisconsin and I was walking to work over an hour in the snow one way. I was nuts. But I held to my convictions. A few months later my parents gave me the extra car they no longer needed. I almost immediately sold it and drove to Wyoming to buy a van from some friends at a great deal as a band vehicle.
Very shortly after that I had an encounter with Jesus that changed my life. Prior to this point I had lived my life for God but on that day I gave my everything TO him. I quit my band. A few months later I quit my jobs. I gave the van away. I gave a lot of stuff away. I didn't need it. Thousands of dollars worth of music equipment, my whole life up to that point, given away to people who could use it or at least be blessed by it.
During this time I strongly felt God tell me that the next vehicle I would have would be a brand new car. I held to that promise tightly until the batteredness of the journey made me forget the promise alltogether. I ended up through a crazy journey here in Tennessee. I've had no easy times since I've been here. From loving homeless in a park for 2 weeks to having to get up at 4 in the morning to walk an hour to the bus to ride the bus for 2 hours just to get to work.
All that time I never quit. I was close. I said I quit but inside of me I never ever quit. Eventually a friend let me drive a car for a few months. I thought I had something lined up knowing the timeframe was ending and last minute that fell through. That was this weekend. When I got a text that said you have 9 days to figure something out with a vehicle.
I had no idea what I was going to do. So I woke up early to head to the bank and see what I could do for a loan. Nothing. My credit was 10 points shy of getting a loan. Off to the dealers it was to get a higher interest loan then I guess. I drive from one mom n pop place to another. I'm about ready to give up when I just drive through the parking lot of the Nissan dealer by my house. The kind lady stops me and asks to help me. So I park and decide to humor her knowing everything there I cannot afford. We drive a couple used vehicles that were super nice. They try to get me into one and my credit is too whack. Then they try to get me into a new vehicle as they are easier to get approved for and have more rebates and since it's the last day of the month, they are desperate for sales to make quota.
They make me an offer and it's double what I wanted pay a month. I kindly thank them for their time and head home. I had gotten my hopes up and was pretty sure I heard God tell me as I was test driving the last car "this is what I have for you". I really started to doubt that when I was driving home. I got home and did what I knew to do. Started looking at bus routes. Somewhere between me getting depressed that there's no bus routes that work to get to my new job and not knowing what to do, my phone rings. It's the Nissan dealer promising me a price I can afford and to come back in. No way!!! I go back in and come back a few hours later after paperwork with a brand new 2016 Nissan Versa. It's amazing and I've never owned a brand new vehicle before.
It wasn't until two days later when I was pulling groceries out of my trunk that God reminded me of his promise of the next vehicle I owned being a brand new car. Years later. After I had long forgotten and given up hope on what he told me, he remembered. He was faithful to do what he said.
I share this long story tonight to hopefully give someone a breath of hope. It's not about me or my story. Don't marvel at that. Marvel at the goodness and faithfulness of a God who never forgets if we never quit and stay the course to receive what he has coming. He is faithful. Following him is the hardest thing you'll ever do. But it's worth it. Hope this is encouraging to you. If there's promises he's made, he will keep them. In his way and in his time. He is faithful. Hang in there friend. You're not alone. Hope is coming. Hope is here.
For those who wanted to see the videos to the show here they are:
Clip 1
Clip 2
Clip 3
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