Vacationing Done Right

As I was driving home today from my vacation to New Orleans, I was thinking how I could not just share my experiences I had but actually bring value to my readers. So I decided to write not just about my trip but why my trip was a success and how you can incorporate that into your next vacation and into your normal routine. So, here it goes.

I’ve been fortunate enough to take several trips this year. I’ve been to Florida twice, New Orleans twice, Chattanooga several times to visit the aquarium and once for a white water rafting trip. I’ve been back home to Wisconsin for my mom’s surprise 50th birthday party. I’ve taken weekend trips to nearby waterfalls and hiking destinations. All of that is just this year alone. I set a goal at the beginning of the year to take a trip or at least leave town once a month. I am on track to meet that goal.

I’ve had trips that were true vacations. What I mean by that is I came home refreshed and inspired. I mean that’s the whole point of a vacation right? To disconnect from your normal day to day and change it up. To break up your routine and change your scenery. So that when you come back to your life, your job, your house, you can see it with a fresh perspective and keep moving forward on your goals and ambitions.

On the other hand, I’ve had trips that couldn’t have been further from a true vacation. There was a strict agenda. I was in a rush. I came home more stressed and exhausted than before I left. I tried to pack in so many activities and still “accomplish” things while I was supposed to be disconnected from work and accomplishing.

In a culture that celebrates hustling, grinding, and running your way to tasting your version of the American Dream, we are taught to over work ourselves in promises of a trade off for a better tomorrow. And while I subscribe to that thought process, I think that train of thought is incomplete. To push and push forever isn’t sustainable. Yes, you can probably push more than you think you can. We all have deeper reservoirs of determination that we have yet to discover. But even with those, you need to take time to recharge for yourself.

This trip I’m returning from as I type this was to New Orleans, specifically the French Quarter. Ever since I was introduced to this beautiful part of a city, I’ve fallen in love. I can’t pinpoint any one thing about it that makes it special for me. Maybe it’s the beignets at Cafe Du Monde. Maybe it’s the pop up bands and parades you can find on random street corners. Maybe it’s the art daily displayed at Jackson square. Maybe it’s the street performers and magicians. Maybe it’s the beauty of an older time where bartering was still a way of life that you can still taste in the French Market. Maybe it’s the beautiful architecture that is so full of life and history. Maybe it’s the stories of people who live there currently and in the past I learn more about each time I return. Whatever it is, everytime I leave completely refreshed, inspired, and wishing I could lose one more day wandering those streets.

Needless to say, this was a successful vacation. Now, let’s go over a quick couple points of what makes a vacation successful to me and then I’ll let you get back to scrolling Facebook or preparing for your next vacation.

1. Take your time. There is nothing that ruins the vibe of a vacation quicker than constantly being in a rush. Remember you’re on vacation. Enjoy the secenery. Let yourself taste the culture, the atmosphere or vibe of whatever city you’re in.

2. Budget time for unexpected adventure. Some of the best memories I have, and some of the most incredible vacations have come from this point. The whole point of a vacation is to get away from all the strict grind and schedules right? Plan the things you want to do or see, but just as important is planning for the unexpected.

3. Appreciate the beauty. This is something I try to do every day but especially on vacation. You’re typically in a new place, whether that be a new location in your city or a whole new city altogether. Appreciate the little things. The statues. The people. The buildings. Nature. All of it. Don’t just drink in the specific destination, drink in the journey.

4. Learn something. Again, this is another one I try to apply daily but on vacation I try to focus on this one too. Think of it like a mental souvenir. Take something back with you that makes you a better person.

Hopefully that gives you a couple things to incorporate into your next vacation or “recharge” day you take for yourself. Here’s a picture of me, my brother, and my cousin who’s basically my other brother in front of the cathedral overlooking Jackson Square in the French Quarter. Happy Travels!

Where Do I Go From Here?

I've written about my journey before, but tonight I decided I'm ready to share some more. Where better place to start a story than in the beginning? I grew up in a Christian home. I only knew a little of a world other than the world of my childhood. The world where I was home schooled and the small church groups I would go to when we left the house a couple times a week. I knew no other possible reality than the one I was presented with day in and day out for the majority of my first 20 years of life.

It's funny looking back how almost every person in those circles vilified asking questions. If someone challenged how something was done or tried to understand the "why" behind the behavior they were instantly demonized and thrown out as a heretic for having an original or different idea. Even the ones who mostly agreed with each other found nuances of things to disagree on. And like the good Christian i was raised to be, I pointed the finger and agreed.

Maybe it was my youth pastor who seemed to care more about building his brand and creating fun videos than actually answering the questions we had. Maybe it was the militant requirement to be at church every time the doors were open combined with the implied fear that we were going to let God down if we missed a single service. Maybe it was the friends I played music with who swore but still showed love, sometimes more love than the people who policed it. Maybe it was when I blindly followed what at the time I thought to be God across the country to do great things because he "needed" me to, and things didn't pan out like I had imagined. Maybe it was getting thrown out of a leadership position in ministry because I refused to let friends be falsely accused behind their back. (For the record, I handled that situation poorly, but never once was I talked to politely or given feedback or instruction, maybe it was then too.) Maybe it was getting shunned for believing something different, something bigger. Maybe it was when I was manipulated and physically taken advantage of by someone who I trusted as a leader and "guru". Whenever "the moment" was, I'm not sure. Maybe it was a collection of all these moments and more, but at some point, the whole thing broke.

At some point in the past year or so, I turned my back on religion. It was too broken, too corrupt. Things misunderstood and manufactured to control people and not inspire and encourage them. The whole system I grew up in that taught me unconditional love is the most powerful thing in existence (which I still believe) but then laid out all these conditions for people to receive it...

I've been able to tell myself for about a year now. I've been able to tell a couple  friends where I'm truly at for a few months. But I'm honestly just ready to say it, "I'm not a Christian anymore." Which has been a really rough road. That was all I had ever known. It has been ridiculously scary taking this journey and jumping out into the world daring to see it differently. All while dealing with the conditioning that meant choosing to look at the world and people differently was going to damn me and them to hell forever.

So where does that leave me now? That's been the hard question I realized today. My zeal for "God" fueled me in everything I did. When I didn't have tangible progress, I told myself its OK, the pain, the sacrifice is worth it, because it's for God and he needs me. Without that, days where I fail and learn are much harder. I no longer have a blanket statement of ignorant belief to cover my failure and actions.

I'm left OBSESSED with building great things. This crazy journey to "create an empire for God" has left me trying to just create an empire. And I'm sure I will one day. I can't remember the first time I left a job or town or circle of friends to pursue the next dream or opportunity. But I can remember that almost every time I make a move, people have told me something along the lines of "Don't forget about me when you're rich and famous." It's interesting to me that almost everyone I knew, saw that in me far before I saw it in myself.

Maybe destiny, the universe, God, has a crazy plan for me to build an empire after all. Haha, who knows? All I know is that I have to move forward. This post, is my way of washing my hands of the past. Not the lessons. Not the memories. Just my attachment to the past.

To those who have been here through the transition, and loved me unconditionally. To those who have spent hours listening to me talk my way through this. To those who graciously offered me advice and gave me the safe space to think differently without judgment, thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. I owe coming out on the other side of this alive to you all.

To those who said I would never succeed, who left me when I needed you, who took from me when I had nothing left to give. Thank you too. Thank you for the lessons along the way. I know without each one of you I wouldn't be half the man I am. My strength wouldn't be what it is without you. So, no hard feelings. You didn't know you were playing the role you were meant to play. But damn, did you play it well.

What I've learned in the past few years is that life is a journey. Things don't stay the same. The only constant is change. So enjoy and spend every minute you get, every day. Invest in yourself. Invest in your life. Invest in those around you. Create better things. Don't complain about the shit. Learn from it and do something about it. I guess that's were I'm headed from here.

I'm SO excited to see what happens next.